I seriously worked at the craft of being a writer for thirty plus years before publishing my debut novel. It started as a maybe… which soon morphed into a dream. Life got in the way or I let life get in the way. Mom-ing and teaching and wife-ing (yes, I think I made up two of those words; I’m a writer, after all) took over my life for the better part of those thirty years. My fundamental belief that everything happens the way it’s supposed to got me through those years of wishing and working and waiting. One day, I told myself.
Now that I’m on the other side–two novels out in the world–I reflect on what got me here in order to appreciate what being here means.
I stole time to write over weekends and days off and summers. I wrote ideas on scraps and, eventually, on the Notes APP on my phone. I wrote in solitude; only those in my very close circle knew of this dream. And even fewer were privy to read the words I had written.
Once I decided to query, the true lows presented themselves to me. It seemed at every juncture they were testing me. I questioned my ability, the time spent, ultimately my dream. I would even go as far to say that over the course of querying and coming up virtually empty, I experienced depression. I thought, is it possible to have wasted all this time on a craft that would amount to nothing more than words on pages that only I would see?
Every time I decided to quit (and there were many), something drew me back. The reality was that I couldn’t, and can’t now, conceive of existence without writing–it fuels me, it gives me breath, understanding and purpose. After over 100 rejections in total, over the course of two would-be novels, I finally got the break I’d been hoping for.
Now, two novels in-print later, with another almost ready, and forth in existence as scribbles of brainstorming on a few pages, I look back to appreciate the many ways in which my life has grown and changed over these past three years.
I get to…
Have my books read by as Emily Dickinson put it, "hands I cannot see"
Connect with readers on so many levels through my work
Give book talks and answers the absolute best questions
Be interviewed by some amazing people on podcasts and radio shows and blogs and magazines
Connect in different ways with my students by sharing what got me here, so that they may learn from me
If I’m lucky enough, inspire others through my words and experience
Pay it forward through my experience as a co-host for the Authors Talking Bookish podcast and many other endeavors
Bring the love of books, writing and travel to an online book club, Bookish Road Trip, of over 5k members through the coordination of programming
Collaborate with other authors
Read and critique other authors’ work
Meet online author friends in person when I’m lucky
Belong to writing communities
Attend book events (signings and festivals) to share my work with readers
Learn new skills (particularly business and marketing)
Make money on my book sales and events (albeit not enough to quit my day job, YET)
Most importantly, I have the privilege to write for an audience
What I get to do is not lost on me. I am grateful for this author-life every single day.
What I would say to those of you who are dreaming of this life right now? Don’t give up–not on the writing, not on your dreams, not on yourself.
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